Thursday, June 23, 2011

John Salmons? Worst. Move. Ever.

It's 2 p.m. on draft day and I'm hallucinating.

Somebody just tweeted that the Kings acquired John Salmons from the Bucks in a swap of draft choices. And that Beno was gone.

Jokesters, those twitter folks.

See, nobody in his right mind thinks that adding another selfish shoot-first player with a bloated contract to the Kings is a good idea.

Right?  Right?

RIGHT?

Now things might change.  Maybe Geoff Petrie has some great move from 1998 up his sleeve, but this is it.

It's 10:30 at night and my nightmare has not subsided. We really did trade for the most sullen player in the NBA.

But there's a bright side:

The Kings drafted Jimmer Fredette.

Only maybe it ain't so bright, because the Kings have seemingly decided to give him the keys to the franchise without a learner's permit.  He will be running the team this season, whether he's ready or not.

You can't blame the Maloofs.  They want to sell tickets.  But they are making Jimmer the new face of the franchise.  In fact, he's the third different face of the franchise in three years, an NBA record.

Will he be good?  Who the hell knows?  We thought Bobby Hurley was gonna be good.

Meanwhile, if the Kings had only stood pat, they would have been in position to snare Brandon Knight, who dropped to 7 and was there for the taking.

Even scarier is that right now the team has no point guards to back him up.  As in zero.  Beno would have been nice to keep.  He had his best year ever and brought a certain level of maturity to floor.

Instead, we get the brooding and immensely enigmatic John Salmons, who has to be dancing a jig about returning to Sacramento.  Just a horrible move.  It makes no sense on any level.

Who is running this asylum?  The Maloofs?  Petrie?  Deranged elves?

Can anyone say the Kings are better with Jimmer and Salmons than Jimmer and Beno?  Or Brandon Knight and Beno?  Or Tony Parker and Richard Jefferson?  Just baffling.

Petrie needs a break from this trade stuff.  He needs a break from basketball.  And the Maloofs, who have him bent over and awaiting their commands.

The Sacramento fans deserve better than a trade for an unlikable retread from five years ago.

They should have just drafted Jimmer with the 7 and spared us this ridiculousness.  But the Kings were afraid of looking foolish by drafting him so high.  So they traded down to look more basketball brainy and instead made them look even more foolish.

Petrie better have some answers... some deals... some great ideas... because draft day was a mess.

To be continued...

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Kings shouldn't settle for anything less than a blockbuster trade

So all of a sudden the Kings want to win right now.

They've been linked to trades for Tony Parker and Ray Felton.

One problem:  While both of them are nice players, neither will help them win now, unless winning now means winning 32 games instead of 24.  Parker has been an All-Star, but he's also been surrounded by amazing talent.  He does not shoot well from the outside.  And he is injury prone.  He'd definitely give the team a lift, but I don't believe he's enough of a difference maker to warrant the move.

Look, there are just too many talented teams out there.  The only way to break through is by acquiring a top tier talent who can change the outcome of a game on his own.

If the Kings want to win now, they are going to have to package their most valuable assets and swing for the fences.

That means dealing Tyreke Evans and DeMarcus Cousins and getting star talent. Maybe combined with  shooting for the No. 2 pick in the draft.

I'm totally on board with that strategy.  The Celtics did it a few years back when they made their up-and-coming power forward Al Jefferson part of a package for established star Kevin Garnett.

And the Kings are in a glorious position to make such a deal.  They are under the cap -- far under the cap -- so they don't have to worry about salaries matching up.

It's time for Geoff Petrie to live up to the dusty genius label that has faded dramatically after a dormant decade.

Be bold.

Make the Kings matter again.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Time for the Kings to end their passive approach to acquiring players

Should the Kings be wheeling and dealing on draft day?

Damn straight.

After five years of a dormant approach to garnering talent, it's time to let Geoff Petrie loose.  

The Kings have a lot of nice pieces and a No. 7 pick. It's time to get aggressive.  Package the picks and some players for a talented veteran.  Maybe try to move up and snag Derrick Williams.  Move down, grab a vet, and pick up Jimmer.

All I know is this:  The Kings can't just sit on their hands.  The Maloofs talked a big game about opening their wallets.  Now it's time to put up or shut up.

Contrary to dire reports about their finances, the Maloofs do have substantial money in the bank.  They are better off than it seems. 

So let's have some fun.  Let's give the fans a reason to get excited, even though they probably won't see the players until January due to the lockout.

Make a deal.  Make a lot of deals.


Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Why I would blow up the Kings



The building blocks are there.


The team is ready to take the next step.


Add a piece or two and they are ready to make a playoff run.

This is conventional wisdom about the state of the Kings.

I don't buy it.  Not for a minute.  And that's why I think the time is perfect to do the unthinkable.

Hire a great coach, explode the roster with daring trades, and buy strong into the the talent market.

This might sound completely insane, but stick with me for a moment.  The King are not a good team, but they do have some very marketable pieces.  Personally, I don't believe Tyreke Evans or DeMarcus Cousins are the type of players that will lead your team to the promised land.  In fact, I'm pretty sure of that it's downright delusional.

Neither is a great team player.  Neither has a great work ethic.  And Cousins, in particular, just seems too risky to bet on in the long-term.  But they do have value around the league.

Right now, the Kings have a chance to remake the team in a way impossible over the past decade. They have a ton of cap room and they'll be competing for players against teams who will most likely be facing a hard cap.

So here's my 5-step plan:

BLOCKBUSTER 1: Trade Tyreke Evans, Jason Thompson and the No. 7 to the Timberwolves for Kevin Love and the second pick.  With the second pick, select multi-talented forward Derrick Williams out of Arizona.  Kid is gonna be a stud.

FREE-AGENT SIGNING NO. 1:  J.J. Barea, point guard, Mavericks.  He looked a little Nash-like for Dallas and would bring energy and speed to the Kings immediately.  An unrestricted free agent, he might be available at the right price since Mark Cuban won't be able to throw money past the hard cap.

FREE-AGENT SIGNING NO. 2:  Marc Gasol, center, Memphis. One of the top centers in the league.  Young, underrated, skilled. He restricted also, so you'll have to pay big.

BLOCKBUSTER 2: Trade DeMarcus Cousins to the Wizards for athletic monster Javale McGee and the 18th pick in the first round.

DRAFT SELECTION: With the 18th pick, select 6-8 shooting whiz Jordan Hamilton out of Texas.

Your new starting five:
JJ Barea
Marcus Thornton
Derrick Williams
Kevin Love
Marc Gasol

Your bench:
Jordan Hamilton
Javale McGee
Omri Casspi
Beno Udrih
Donte Greene

Now you need a coach.  I heard Rick Adelman is available.

Okay, we're set.

Now let's go win a title.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Agitated and unhinged, Joe Maloof is a man in true denial mode

If there's one thing we've discovered through this entire relocation saga, it's this:  Both the fans and the Maloofs have been put through a meat grinder.

We've seen over the past months how the fans have reacted -- with creativity, enthusiasm and verve.

But we hadn't seen the toll on the Maloofs until Monday.  Specifically, until Monday afternoon when Sacramento Kings owner Joe Maloof was interviewed on KHTK's Grant Napear show.

It was disturbing, to say the least.

Maloof was clearly agitated and out-of-breath.  Maybe even severely sleep deprived.  You could almost feel his sweat coming through the radio. He seemed defensive, annoyed and downright frayed.  An image of Gary Busey comes to mind. He said all the right things, but the subtext was palpable.  He was a man done wrong.

Joe Maloof denied his family was in financial trouble.  He denied the league forced him to stay in Sacramento.   In fact, he denied the return to Sacramento was anything but  his family's idea.

Yes, this was a man in real denial.

And I didn't believe a word of it.

He sounded especially unhinged when talking about a seat snafu in the final game of the season when Lakers fans were seated in the customary Maloof seats.  Joe huffed and puffed, sputtered and disavowed any knowledge of the incident.

His voice rose and fell as he tried to put his thoughts together.  He vowed to spend money on free agents and compete, but it wasn't clear where all this new money was coming from.

By the time the interview was over, I could imagine Joe collapsing on the floor in a puddle.

In the end, it doesn't much matter what brought the team back to Sacramento.  They are here and the city gets one last shot.

But whether Joe Maloof can last another year without puncturing a blood vessel in his brain is another story.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

The Doomsday Scenario and the other outcomes to the Maloof mess

Bookmakers at the Palms Casino are taking odds on various scenarios over the next few days.  Take a look and place your wager.

THE DOOMSDAY SCENARIO: Fed up with their treatment from both the NBA and Sacramento city leaders, the Maloofs decide to sell -- but not to Ron Burkle.  They sell to Anaheim's Henry Samueli, throwing the team into the hands of a man determined to rip the team from Sacramento at any cost.  Odds: 100-1


THE "REVERSAL OF FORTUNES" SCENARIO:  The Maloofs file for relocation and somehow get the needed votes to okay the move.  Sacramento is sucker-punched.  ODDS: 40-1

THE "SHOVE-IT STERN" SCENARIO:  The boys lose the vote, poke little David Stern in the eyes, defy the league,  file a lawsuit, and take the team to Anaheim. ODDS: 35-1

THE HAPPY RETURN SCENARIO:  Carmichael Dave joins hands with the Maloofs in a tearful celebration rally at Power Balance.  The brothers vow to stay in Sacramento for the foreseeable future and work diligently to make a new arena happen.  ODDS: 12-1 

THE FIRE SALE SCENARIO: Forced to return to Sacramento, the Maloofs sell to Burkle in an effort to stave off bankruptcy. ODDS: 8-1

THE ONE-YEAR STALL SCENARIO:  The Maloofs suck it up and allow the team to return to Sacramento, but feel determined to submarine any arena deal, giving the team a clear path to head for Anaheim the following season. ODDS: 5-2


Okay, fans, windows close in just 48 hours.  Tell me your bets now.



Monday, April 25, 2011

Revealed: The secret pages from Joe Maloof's diary over the past few weeks

Many Sacramento fans have wondered about the state of mind of Kings ownership over the past few weeks.  Well, wonder no more.

Thanks to an inside source. we were slipped a number of pages from the alleged personal diary of Joe Maloof.

The thoughts are quite revealing.  Read on:

April 13:  Arrive in New York.   Order champagne for pre-meeting celebration.  Asked my assistant to secure tickets to hottest show on Broadway: "Spiderman - Turn Off The Dark."   I love big shows.  Lots of cool special effects and flying.  Risky stuff, but what could go wrong?

April 14: Prepared Anaheim proposal for NBA Board of Governors with brother Gavin and my best bud Mayor Tommy of Anaheim.  I asked why we only had a sketchy one-page outline of the proposal.  Tommy just smirked and ordered more popcorn shrimp and imported beer from room service.   Sent text message to Dave Stern:  "Done deal, right?"  His response was interesting: "LMAO." Later that night, Tommy feel asleep on my leg.  I think he got drool on me.

April 15:  My advisors tell me that the meeting didn't go too well.  Mark Cuban supposedly flipped me the bird when I was checking my Blackberry.  I think it went great.  We are gonna be rolling in the dough when we head south.   Just in time, too.  Haven't made my car payment in three months.  Just heard about some movement in Sacramento called Here We're Built by some dude name Carmel Dave.  What a joke.  Nobody pays attention to crap like that.  By the way, who the hell is Ron Burkle?  Told my assistant to do a Google search.


Just got word.  Two-week delay before we're officially the Royals.  Oh well, not like I have anything better to do.  Maybe I'll take some online college courses in business.  

April 16: Saw Kevin Johnson strutting through the lobby.  Suddenly, the dude has confidence.  Never saw that before. By the way, I told him that Burkle is a prick.  And the team is not for sale.  My brother George told me to say that, even though I would sell in a heartbeat if we got a good offer.  I need some cash.  Yes, I could ask my sister Adrienne for a loan, but she just dropped a load on a brow lift and seems a little light on funds.

April 17:  Back in Vegas.  Home sweet home.  Gonna spend all day playing blackjack, wearing tight shirts, and glad-handing all the skateboarders at poolside.  Told my assistant to get me the real estate listings for Anaheim.   Looking for a nice foreclosure I can get cheap.  Very cheap.

April 18: My brother George whisked me away to his office to give me good news.  Seems the NBA got that carpet-bagging dude who stole the Sonics from Seattle to look into our relocation.  Woo-hoo.  Stern is a genius.

April 19:  Got wind of another idiotic movement.  Here We Purple Nurple?   Huh?  Sounds like a fraternity prank.  Sacramento fans are usually very creative, but I don't get this one.  Saw a video blog by that Carmel Dave guy.  Talk about charisma.  Was that his garage?

April 20:  Emergency meeting at the poolside bar.  Gavin is pale.  First thought:  He needs sunscreen.  George says it looks like we're going back to Sac.  I'm shocked.  Ask assistant to lend me his credit card so I can order a Turkey Club.  Always feel better with bacon.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Maloofs need to make a grand gesture to Kings fans - and fast

The Maloof family is about to suffer an excruciating case of  whiplash.  They had the moving trucks parked at Pea Soup Andersen's on I-5, taking a little rest before heading down to Disneyland.

But they are about to receive a text message from the NBA.

Turn around, dudes.

Now this sudden and stunning turn of events puts old Joe and Gavin in a bit of spot.

How are they gonna make nice-nice with Sacramento after slobbering Anaheim with full wet kisses?

Well, there is one very simple way.

Don't wait until May 2.

Don't make the Sacramento fans twist any longer.

Come out on Monday -- in public, preferably in a nice outdoor setting -- and announce that you have ended your affair with that other city and you are happy to be back home.

Bring in Chris Webber to stand with both of you on the podium.  Maybe Mitch Richmond.  Hey, even Rick Adelman would be a great gesture.  And, of course, Mayor Johnson and Carmichael Dave.

Say the right things.  Wear purple.  Pump your fleshy fists.  And vow to work tirelessly to get an arena done.

It would be a grand, noble gesture.

A giant make-up hug.

And maybe the relationship can be mended.

But letting this draw out and trying to salvage the deal to Anaheim will only alienate the fans.

Time to do the right thing.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

A Kings team in flux poses intriguing questions

Perplexing, intriguing and downright delightful questions to ponder about the current state of the Kings franchise...

At this point, how in the world could the NBA pull the rug out from Sacramento?  The two-week extension has grown into an avalanche of enthusiasm.  Now, most Kings fans are assuming the NBA is going to give the city a one-year reprieve.  Commissioner David Stern would be roundly vilified if he yanked the team away at this point.  It would be heartless, pathetic and the worst public relations move of all time.

By the way, how the hell did this happen, anyway?  I was dead wrong when I pronounced the team gone.  Now it's like the world of professional sports has turned upside-down.  How does a small-market win in a scenario like this?  It just doesn't happen.  Does it?

Okay, let's say the Kings stay.  How much money do the Maloofs really have?  Are they truly broke?  If so, forget about free-agent signings or any trades to bring in high-salaried talent.  The Brothers have been pontificating for years about the need to wait for a new collective bargaining agreement before they open up the wallets.  What if they open their wallets and nothing comes out but dust?

Will we ever hear from Ron Burkle again?  The Billionaire's name shook the floor at the meeting of the NBA Board of Governors.  Is there any reason to believe that his name won't surface again?

If the Kings do get a one-year window to come up with an arena deal, how long would it take to actually build the building?  Can Arco, er, Power Balance, work for the Maloofs for another three or four years?

Finally, will Carmichael Dave use his new base of power to launch a career in politics?  Will his movie-star looks jettison him to new heights?

I want answers, damn it.  And I want them now.

Or a little later would be okay, too.

If it's not too much trouble.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Get with it, Mayor Johnson: Step up with an arena funding plan right now

Sacramento mayor Kevin Johnson has been basking in glory over the past week, ever since his seemingly triumphant performance in front of the NBA board of governors.

Yes, KJ put on an impressive show, they say.  And Sacramento got a two-week stay of execution.

But Anaheim is quietly regrouping and still holds a huge upper hand.

And that's why I am unsatisfied - even disappointed - with the Mayor over the last couple of days,

He seems to be playing prevent defense instead of going for the victory.  It's a silly strategy, considering the Kings are far behind and not in front.

Right now, the only thing that will save the Kings is some kind of viable funding option for a new arena.

But on that single question, the Mayor is basically punting.

When asked about a possible arena funding plan, he offers no answers.  And right about now he needs answers.  Big answers.

It's time to get creative.  To think out of the box.

Ticket surcharges.  Hotel taxes.  Call Goldman Sachs, who helped build Louisville's new arena.  Get some Burkle bonds.

C'mon, give the NBA something.

The NBA ain't staying without a shiny new box for the Kings.

And no matter how much KJ brags about the fans, the NBA will not vote against relocation if they don't see an arena plan that makes sense right now.

Some say it's impossible to come up with a plan in such a short time.

I don't.  I think creative minds in a city filled with movers and shakers can get it done.

Just letting relocation maven Clay Bennett sink his toes into the muddy expanse of nothing at the Railyards won't work.  He needs to see how the vision becomes reality on paper.  And so does the NBA.

Time to take the last shot, Mr. Mayor.

Only a few seconds left.

Don't dish it off and expect to get the ball back.