Maloofs pay for somebody to abuse them. We do it for free.

So I'm listening to The Howard Stern show the other day and insult comic Jeffrey Ross is explaining how he sometimes gets hired by rich folks to do private roasts.

He lets slip that he recently did one of these private roasts for the Maloof brothers in Las Vegas  That tidbit of news left me confused.

First off, how do the Maloofs, who can't afford to put a coat of paint on the walls at their crumbling arena, afford to pony up for a professional comedian to make fun of them for an hour?  That's gotta be a huge wad of dough.  Ross said that Gavin paid him the old fashioned way, reaching into the cashier's cage at the Palms Hotel for the payoff.

This is the way the Maloofs are spending their money?

Haven't they been roasted enough over the past year?  All they need to do is read my blog to feel bad about their shameful behavior.  No need to hire anyone.

There's only one thing left to conclude from all this: The Maloofs enjoy abuse.

Kings fans, let's all continue to make their dreams come true.

Joe Maloof announces huge new venture. We give you the early scoop!

Joe Maloof announced on Twitter a new family venture coming soon. We at Kings Talking Points are thrilled. It has to be something big. Very big.

As a benefit for the fans, we are happy to supply our well-researched list of highly probable projections for the big venture and the odds for each:

Sexy new uniforms are unveiled for the team. Players will only wear shorts, thus cutting down on laundering and clothing costs. "Hassan Whiteside is gonna really attract the ladies when they see his abs," boasts Gavin. 125-1

 In an effort to grow their business, the Maloofs will now sell their own brand of lemonade. "Bitter Fans Lemonade" will offer down-home taste and feature a different alienated Kings fan on every bottle. 40-1.

The Maloofs will bring their skateboarding business to a whole new level by announcing the formation of the PSL - The Professional Skateboarding League. Unfortunately, Sacramento won't get a franchise until the city ponies up the dough for a Skateboard Pavillon in Old Sac. 20-1

A reality show featuring Joe, Gavin and George on a treasure hunt in Anaheim is announced for this fall. The three wacky brothers must meet in secret with businessmen who may or may not be franchise-stealing whores. It's up to the brothers to find who's the legit whore and get the money before the next NBA Board of Governors meeting. 2-1

The dead-broke Maloofs should try honesty with fans

Look, wouldn't it be a whole lot easier if the Maloofs just came out and admitted they were dead broke?

I mean, why the charade?  Why let the fans even entertain the thought that the team would try to compete in the free-agent market?

The wacky brothers have claimed for years that their finances were just fine, but that silly boast is not even up for debate anymore.

What's the best thing that George Maloof could do right now?  How about an honest statement.


It could go something like this:


"Because of the economy and a number of completely boneheaded moves by my family, the Kings will be running the team on an austerity budget for the near future.


"That means no big free agents, no trades that take on any salary, and no chance we enter into any arena deal that forces us to put in one red cent.


"We'd like to apologize to the fans for thinking we were legitimate deep-pocketed owners who cared about anything more than keeping our irrationally entitled family afloat.  


"So chill out, stop complaining, and stop scrolling the sports wires for news about the Kings.  Ain't gonna happen, suckers."


All the best,
Georgie

Pathetic Maloofs sell draft pick in team's most ignoble moment

The day was going just about perfectly.

The Kings and Geoff Petrie had lucked into the selection of talented power forward Thomas Robinson with the 5th pick.

In my opinion, he was the best possible player in the draft for the Kings.  A guy who could help this season.  Tough. Aggressive.  Great motor.

It couldn't get any better, could it?

Nope.

It didn't.  It got strange.

By the time the second round came rolling around, the state of the current ownership came clearly into focus.

The Maloofs are bankrupt.  Broke.  Penniless.

How else to explain why you would simply sell your second-round pick for cash?

This is not something a bottom-dwelling professional franchise does.  This is a team that desperately needs talent.  Tossing away a chance at another player is stupid.  Very stupid.

But these are the Maloofs.  And, well, there's really no other explanation needed, is there?

Please don't tell us your finances are fine and then pull a stunt like this.  If you can't afford to own a team, that's no sin.  But don't take down a franchise to salvage your pride.

Guess the boys needed a little walking-around money.

Or maybe they needed to invest in another doomsday economist.

Just pathetic.

Truly pathetic.

Revealed: Secret Maloof daily schedule

You've probably been wondering what the Maloofs, the owners of the Sacramento Kings, have been doing lately.

You see, everyone seems to think the Kings have become irrelevant.  But just because you never hear a whisper about a possible move as the draft approaches, that's no reason to believe that nothing is being done.

And even if every potential draft choice has decided take a wide berth around Sacramento and refuse to work out for the team, that's no reason to think the Maloofs aren't digging deep to make things happen.

Here at Kings Talking Points, we've got proof the brothers are working damn hard.  We've obtained an alleged daily schedule for the Maloof brothers.  Take a look.  It may change your mind.

8 a.m.: Morning Bikram Yoga.  Clothing optional.  Joe and Gavin attending.  Bring extra towels - Gavin tends to sweat a little too much for the room.

9:30 a.m.: Home renovation class at Home Depot.  This week's topic: How to fix those pesky luxury boxes with a little paint and spackle.  George attending.  Joe and Gavin waiting in truck.

11 a.m.:  Man the phones for onslaught of season ticket renewal calls.  George, Gavin and Joe.  Gavin requests that this time there be no jokes about playing Simon and Garfunkel's "Sounds of Silence" as background music.

11:16 a.m.: Use season-ticket phone to order pizza for lunch.  Gluten-free crust, please.

11:20 a.m.: Prepare for conference call with NBA and David Stern by gathering little-known but damning facts about Sacramento's awful economy.  Gavin attending.

11:46 a.m.:  Conference call with David Stern and NBA.  Team attorneys will be present on call to gently allude to anti-trust violations, but George demands that everyone treat "that little power-mad runt" with respect.

12:30 p.m.:  Lunch.  Casual dress.  Courtside during auditions for Kings dance team.  George requests that Gavin and Joe refrain from getting up from their seats and giving any individual dancer a standing ovation.  Please wear loose-fitting pants.

2 p.m.:  Maloof family nap.  Spooning optional.  George, Gavin and Joe attending.  Possible appearance by sister Adrienne.

4 p.m.:  Meeting with team vice president Geoff Petrie to discuss potential free-agent signings.  George notes that their checking account at Wells Fargo is currently overdrawn so any offers made to prospective players will need to be done with fingers crossed behind back.

5:30 p.m.:  Research session on possible draft picks.  Special guest speaker:  Some guy who attended a North Carolina game a few months back and remembers seeing a good player, although he doesn't remember the kid's name.  Gavin and Joe attending.

6:30 p.m.: Prep for confidential, top-secret meeting with Mr. Big.  Identity to remain secret.  Gavin sent to airport to pick him up after his flight from Seattle arrives.

8:30 p.m.: Top-secret meeting.  No further details.

10:30 p.m.:  Bedtime.  Gavin tucks in Joe tonight.  George gets the couch.

George Maloof, American Hero

Kings owner George Maloof was on Grant Napear's radio show on KHTK Friday afternoon to deliver a firm defense of his team's position.

Here are the highlights:

George Maloof is an American hero.

He thinks about his community first.

He believes that we should hire cops and firefighters and put that pesky arena thingy on the back burner.

He is says he's perfectly fine with a nice paint job on the old arena.

He says the team stands ready and able to spend money on players.

He doesn't understand why people consider him a villain.

It was such an impossibly lame, self-serving example of double-speak that you could barely believe he was able to get through the interview without uttering an evil giggle.  Through it all,  Mr. Napear barely managed to challenge a single assertion.

Like why the Kings allowed the NBA to negotiate for them over the past year without an inkling of what was being negotiated.

Like why Gavin and Joe have been effectively silenced after years of being the faces of the franchise.

Like why, if the Kings want to stay in Sacramento, they won't sign some kind of agreement to stay in the city for at least the next three years.

Like why any Kings fan should believe the Maloof family has the financial ability to compete in the world of professional sports.

Like pushing George to offer one example of how the Kings have spent any money in the past five years to spruce up the current arena.

Like why we should think that the Maloofs have any business acumen at all after the deterioration of both the Palms Casino and the Kings over the past 10 years.

Like why a team that was so committed to staying in Sacramento had all but packed the moving vans last year to head for Anaheim.

Then again, I suppose there is no need to question George Maloof about any of those things.

After all, he is an American hero.

Maloofs, the Kings and The Palms: A history of deterioration

Does anybody believe the current state of the Kings and Power Balance Arena is not the fault of the Maloofs?

Hey, maybe it's the economy or maybe the team just needs a new arena.  Maybe this deterioration is just bad luck, right?

Uh, no.

All you have to do is look to the desert of Nevada to see that this pattern is not unique.

The Palms Hotel, once the hottest of the hot spots in Vegas, has fallen into disrepair.  I decided to check customer reviews of the hotel on the popular TripAdvisor site.

Now, to be fair, there were some decent reviews, but the bad reviews were startling in their harshness.

Check them out for yourself:

Palms Reviews

Here's a sampling:

"The room reeked of deodorizers attempting to cover up bad odors in the room. The beds looked lumpy and the walls were dirty."


"This place was disgusting and horrible. It's amazing how fast and how far this place has fallen."


"Overall, worst hotel experience I've had in Vegas. Used to be a great place ten years ago, now it's on par with Circus Circus."


"This is by far the worst choice you could make to stay in Vegas, You would be better off to save the money and sleep on the streets and play an instrument to make extra money."

First the Kings and now The Palms.

What do these two business entities have in common?

Connect the dots, Kings fans.

Grant Napear officially declares he's a shill for Maloofs

Thank you Grant Napear.

Yup, in a none-too-shocking admission, KHTK's resident sports blowhard finally admitted it on Monday.

He's a shill for the Maloofs.

A mouthpiece.  A plant.  An accomplice. The Panderer-in-Chief.

Now he didn't have to use those exact words, but it was clear when he proudly proclaimed on his radio show that there's no reason for him to badmouth the Maloofs since the Maloofs have been very good for Grant Napear (yes, he used the dreaded third person).

This is all fine and dandy, except Mr. Napear has always slyly implied that he's an even-handed player in the entire arena debacle.

Look, I wouldn't blast my boss if he was writing my checks either, but I would make it clear almost every time the subject came up by stating these simple words:

I am not a fair arbiter in this situation since I am employed by the owners of the Kings, but I would be happy to give you my opinion.

That almost never happened.

Instead, for years, he has berated caller after caller who dared to hold the Maloofs in a less-than-flattering light.

He must have a bulging hernia for all the water he's carried.

And now, when everyone in the sports world can see that the Maloof behavior has risen to the level of Weasel Defcon I, there is no way he should be even attempting to maneuver his flighty bosses into a more favorable position.

The NBA thinks the Maloofs have lost their minds.

The city of Sacramento thinks they're dishonest liars.

The Sacramento fans have had it with the years of insufferable negotiation stances.

But Grant "The Shill" Napear believes we should all just back off, play nice, and give all the sides the benefit of the doubt.

This is so transparently the message of P.R. outfit hired by the Kings that is is truly laughable.

Yes, the Maloofs have finally shown their true colors.

And finally, so has Grant Napear.

Maloofs must sign 10-year lease to stay in Sacramento to salvage relationship with fans

There is a way.

A single way for the Maloofs to turn public opinion back in their favor.

A single way for the Maloofs to help the Sacramento fans forgive them.

And here it is:

In front of the Kings fans, hold up a signed lease agreement saying that you are staying in Sacramento for the next 10 years.

That's it.

Done deal.

The town is yours again.

Will it happen?  Almost certainly no.

But Joe Maloof proclaimed loudly to the Bee's Aileen Voisin that the team has no intention to move.

Okay, prove it.

Tell the city that the Anaheim is dead with a pen, not with words.

And get to work sprucing up Power Balance.  I suggest a $5 ticket surcharge to pay for it.  That would at least pay for cosmetic changes to the building.  It won't widen the concourses or add luxury boxes, but it would go a long way towards showing some good will.

Here's the problem: I don't think Joe and Gavin Maloof are even running the show anymore.  I think they've been pushed aside by George, who fancies himself the brilliant wheeler-dealer of the family.

Well, Joe and Gavin, it's time to kick your unkempt Vegas brother to the curb.

Make a grand statement.

Make it now.

Before it's too late.

EMPTY THE ARENA. DON'T GO TO THE FINAL 4 GAMES

It's time to make another statement, Kings fans.

You did it last year when you wanted the team to stay.

Now it's time to do it again.  Except this time it's about being jobbed.  It's about being taken for a ride.  It's about a trio of clueless brothers named Maloof.

Friday's despicable display by the Maloofs was inexcusable and perhaps one of the most embarrassing presentations in the history of sports ownership.

Parading a dull economist in front of the press to basically tear the city's arena plan to shreds was a pure affront to any Kings' fan who was brave enough to watch.

George Maloof acted like a child who had no idea why things hadn't gone his way in the sandbox.  He was gonna pout and whine and claim that little Kevie hit him in the face with a shovel.

These guys are morally and financially broke.

They have no money because they have no business acumen. In fact, they have no businesses.   They have no way to make money any more.  Owning an NBA team is not a profitable business.  It's a hobby for rich men.  The Maloofs don't qualify.

So what can the fans do?

Easy.

Empty the arena.  Don't set foot in the place for the final four games.

Make it a ghost town.

The sports world doesn't care one iota about Sacramento, but it's time to hold up the owners to the ridicule they deserve.

Stay home.

Empty the arena.

Let the team play in silence.

When the highlights appear on ESPN,  the sound of shame will be deafening to the Maloofs.