Zombie Petrie and the Kings Apocalypse

And now the bloody truth has begun to leak out.

Geoff Petrie is a card-carrying member of the walking dead.

He may not eat flesh and he doesn't have the pallor of a corpse,  but there's no doubt he's dead. 

And yes, he is still breathing and wearing sport coats and leaning silently in the his little spot under the basket.  But make no mistake, as a man of relevance in the NBA, the Kings' basketball president is nothing but a Zombie.  

It is yet another sign that the Kings Apocalypse is upon us.  Forget those silly Mayans and their ill-fated scare tactics.  We've got full-on, end-of-the-world scenario playing out in the bowels of whatever they call that half-ass arena in Natomas.

DeMarcus Cousins has become such a sack-slapping, brooding, half-hearted suspended pile of disappointment that trade rumors are wafting furiously in the air.  But Zombie Petrie remains on the sidelines, awaiting word on his undead future.

The Maloofs, who are flirting with so many cities they have decided to post a sexy profile of the Kings on Match.com, have rendered Zombie Petrie helpless.  He barely speaks to anyone.  He barely moves.  

Zombie Petrie chooses to remain passive as his reputation (or what's left of it) gets ground into piles of charred bones.

Unfortunately, nobody expects anything to change.

If Zombie Petrie had a shred of dignity left in his lifeless body, he would resign.  Or he would defy his bosses and say something that was actually meaningful.

It's a sad and frightening time -- and a  time for Zombie Petrie to regain his human faculties.

Disgusted Kings fans, Twitter, and Carmichael Dave

It all came to a head Saturday night.

And if you were following the Twitter comments of Kings fans, it seemed like an eruption of frustration.

While the team was laying a King-sized turd in Clipperland, a good deal of the Sacramento fan base had decided they'd seen enough.

In a Tweet Tsumani of disgusted barbs, fans bombarded listless players, absent ownership and a distinctly rudderless ship.

All of this against the backdrop of a franchise prepared to pack up and leave town as soon as another city could toss enough community cash at the Maloofs.

Carmichael Dave, the former KHTK broadcaster turned internet radio host, refuses to give up on efforts to keep the Kings.  He even hatched a new scheme:  tweeting about a sit-in at the arena, perhaps even a human chain circling the entire building.

His suggestion was met with enthusiasm on the Twittersphere with people pledging to join him.

I suggested a nude element but quickly thought better of the idea.

Then I figured we could hire that UC Davis cop to pepper spray Dave in an effort to draw attention to the cause.

That's what life has become for fans of this fallen franchise.  Grasping at straws.  Hoping that howling into the cold, wet night will evoke a response from someone, anyone.

But the sad truth is that nobody is listening.

It's just darkness out there.

Darkness and silence.

Time for Joe and Gavin Maloof to take a stand and save the Kings

Okay, it's time for the older brothers to make a stand.

Where are you, Joe and Gavin?  Kings nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

Why have you disappeared?

And why are you letting your weasel younger brother seemingly hijack the operation of the team?

Joe and Gavin Maloof used to be the faces of the franchise.  Young, energetic owners with a passion for basketball.  They  rooted with unrestrained gusto at courtside during the glory years.  They answered the phone when fans called.  They lived and breathed customer service.

But now they are invisible.  Why?

Are they not considered competent enough to run the franchise?  

Why has George, who presided over the business swoon of the Palms Casino, become the man in charge of the Kings?  Was it always this way and we just didn't know?

You have to wonder what Joe and Gavin are thinking, but they hardly speak anymore.  Do they want the team to remain in Sacramento?  Sure seemed like it when they did their premature dance at midcourt with Kevin Johnson before the ill-fated Sacramento arena deal exploded in a gory mess.

It's not too late for the boys to make a stand.  

It's not too late to turn this slow-motion community tragedy into a momentous victory for a city that has given its life blood to a franchise for 25 years.

It's not too late to regain your reputation.

Tell George to step aside.

Go back to Mayor Johnson and make a deal.

This is your team.

Act like it.

Make it happen.

The Kings don't care anymore. Why should we?

Wow, that was fast.

A season down the drain in less than 10 games.

Even for the Kings, that's pretty damn impressive. What happens now is all about the ugly.

Attendance at Sleep Train Arena will continue to plummet.  Fan interest, already at an all-time low, will continue to wane.  And the players - that collection of ill-fitting, selfish, immature youngsters - will begin to implode.

But nothing will happen.

This might easily become the greatest train wreck in sports history.

Fire Keith Smart?  Doubtful.  The team has no money to hire a real coach and they just gave the guy an extension.

Make a huge trade?  Laughable.  That would entail Geoff Petrie actually rising from a decade-long nap.  And owners who are engaged.  Hint: They ain't.

The Kings have become a debacle of the highest order.

Professional sports should bring pride and passion and buzz to a city.  They should not make you feel sad.

But that's what happening right now.

Deep in the bowels of the arena, the truth is known.  Nobody seems to care.  Not the players.  Not the team management.

And if they don't care, why should we?

Can Petrie be charged with sports franchise malpractice?

Can team officials be charged with sports franchise malpractice?

Because that's exactly what should happen to the Kings' Geoff Petrie.

What he's done to this franchise over the page few years is a downright embarrassment.  A team that a decade ago prided itself on passing, ball movement, and team play has become the NBA's poster child for selfishness. 

And you can lay the blame at the feet of Petrie.

For some some reason, he fell in love with gunners. 

Tyreke Evans.   Aaron Brooks.  Marcus Thornton.  DeMarcus Cousins.  Jimmer Fredette.

None of them has ever shown the slightest interest in sharing the ball, but Petrie thought it was a brilliant idea to collect them all and shove them in front of a coach with no clue how to tame them.

That coach - Keith Smart - is not going to turn things around.  He is overmatched as a strategist and motivator.  Yet Petrie decided to hand him a contract extension during the offseason.

Petrie has been living off a few clever moves from more than 12 years ago.  But he is no longer considered an upper-echelon front-office guy.

He still hasn't found a small forward for the team, despite years of nothing at that position.  His acquisition of John Salmons last year was one of the worst personnel moves in NBA history.  And don't get me started on Travis Outlaw.

 The point-guard position is still weak, despite my soft spot for Isaiah Thomas.  Nobody on the team is capable of running  a simple pick-and-roll and setting up a teammate.

Cousins is considered a bright spot, but if the first few games are any indication, he is still a ticking time bomb, supremely moody and seemingly incapable of playing the game without making surly faces at every perceived slight.   

It's sad.  It's pathetic.  And it's time to point the finger at the man who is most responsible for this disaster.

Mr. Petrie, come take a bow.

The passion is gone for this Kings fan

Normally, this time of year I'd have a touch of Kings fever. Perhaps a tingle of enthusiasm for the upcoming NBA season.

Here's a news flash: I've got nuthin.

I'm empty.

Maybe I've bled out.  Pierced by a bleak future, bludgeoned by years of ownership neglect.

You can delude yourself and think this team is loaded with young talent, but that's an ugly mirage.  The team is nothing but an oddly arranged group of mismatched talent with a uniform desire to chuck up shots, avoid defense and passing, and just casually go about the business of being NBA losers.

DeMarcus Cousins has plenty of talent and still sports the maturity of a 12 year old. Tyreke Evans has been woefully coached and has no clue about his role.  New rookie Thomas Robinson is not going to make an impact for a few years.  And Jimmer?  Well, there hasn't been a worse acquisition for a team since the New York Jets traded for Tim Tebow.

It's sad, really.  This city used to love its team without question.   Now we constantly question without love. The passion is gone. So are many of the fans. And the actual team is probably gone by year's end.

Maybe this team will surprise us.  Maybe they'll figure it out and shock the league.  But I ain't holding my breath.

Sure, I'll still tune in for awhile at least.  I'm curious.  But there aren't many players I'd want to invest in emotionally. Isaiah Thomas is about the only guy I truly like on the entire squad.

Here's hoping for one last season to give Sacramento a few thrills.

Maloofs pay for somebody to abuse them. We do it for free.

So I'm listening to The Howard Stern show the other day and insult comic Jeffrey Ross is explaining how he sometimes gets hired by rich folks to do private roasts.

He lets slip that he recently did one of these private roasts for the Maloof brothers in Las Vegas  That tidbit of news left me confused.

First off, how do the Maloofs, who can't afford to put a coat of paint on the walls at their crumbling arena, afford to pony up for a professional comedian to make fun of them for an hour?  That's gotta be a huge wad of dough.  Ross said that Gavin paid him the old fashioned way, reaching into the cashier's cage at the Palms Hotel for the payoff.

This is the way the Maloofs are spending their money?

Haven't they been roasted enough over the past year?  All they need to do is read my blog to feel bad about their shameful behavior.  No need to hire anyone.

There's only one thing left to conclude from all this: The Maloofs enjoy abuse.

Kings fans, let's all continue to make their dreams come true.

Joe Maloof announces huge new venture. We give you the early scoop!

Joe Maloof announced on Twitter a new family venture coming soon. We at Kings Talking Points are thrilled. It has to be something big. Very big.

As a benefit for the fans, we are happy to supply our well-researched list of highly probable projections for the big venture and the odds for each:

Sexy new uniforms are unveiled for the team. Players will only wear shorts, thus cutting down on laundering and clothing costs. "Hassan Whiteside is gonna really attract the ladies when they see his abs," boasts Gavin. 125-1

 In an effort to grow their business, the Maloofs will now sell their own brand of lemonade. "Bitter Fans Lemonade" will offer down-home taste and feature a different alienated Kings fan on every bottle. 40-1.

The Maloofs will bring their skateboarding business to a whole new level by announcing the formation of the PSL - The Professional Skateboarding League. Unfortunately, Sacramento won't get a franchise until the city ponies up the dough for a Skateboard Pavillon in Old Sac. 20-1

A reality show featuring Joe, Gavin and George on a treasure hunt in Anaheim is announced for this fall. The three wacky brothers must meet in secret with businessmen who may or may not be franchise-stealing whores. It's up to the brothers to find who's the legit whore and get the money before the next NBA Board of Governors meeting. 2-1

The dead-broke Maloofs should try honesty with fans

Look, wouldn't it be a whole lot easier if the Maloofs just came out and admitted they were dead broke?

I mean, why the charade?  Why let the fans even entertain the thought that the team would try to compete in the free-agent market?

The wacky brothers have claimed for years that their finances were just fine, but that silly boast is not even up for debate anymore.

What's the best thing that George Maloof could do right now?  How about an honest statement.


It could go something like this:


"Because of the economy and a number of completely boneheaded moves by my family, the Kings will be running the team on an austerity budget for the near future.


"That means no big free agents, no trades that take on any salary, and no chance we enter into any arena deal that forces us to put in one red cent.


"We'd like to apologize to the fans for thinking we were legitimate deep-pocketed owners who cared about anything more than keeping our irrationally entitled family afloat.  


"So chill out, stop complaining, and stop scrolling the sports wires for news about the Kings.  Ain't gonna happen, suckers."


All the best,
Georgie

Pathetic Maloofs sell draft pick in team's most ignoble moment

The day was going just about perfectly.

The Kings and Geoff Petrie had lucked into the selection of talented power forward Thomas Robinson with the 5th pick.

In my opinion, he was the best possible player in the draft for the Kings.  A guy who could help this season.  Tough. Aggressive.  Great motor.

It couldn't get any better, could it?

Nope.

It didn't.  It got strange.

By the time the second round came rolling around, the state of the current ownership came clearly into focus.

The Maloofs are bankrupt.  Broke.  Penniless.

How else to explain why you would simply sell your second-round pick for cash?

This is not something a bottom-dwelling professional franchise does.  This is a team that desperately needs talent.  Tossing away a chance at another player is stupid.  Very stupid.

But these are the Maloofs.  And, well, there's really no other explanation needed, is there?

Please don't tell us your finances are fine and then pull a stunt like this.  If you can't afford to own a team, that's no sin.  But don't take down a franchise to salvage your pride.

Guess the boys needed a little walking-around money.

Or maybe they needed to invest in another doomsday economist.

Just pathetic.

Truly pathetic.