Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Kings re-name arena - We have a Situation

Arco is history.  The naming rights have expired for the aging arena.  But no need to fear about all those lost monetary considerations associated with sponsorship.  The money will continue to flow.

You see, a new name is already bought and paid for.   The glowing neon letters are being crafted as you read this.

In the first scoop of the season for Kings Talking Points, my clandestine sources tell me that a new name has been  chosen for the arena.

And it's perfect.

Ladies and gentleman, welcome to...


Yup, there you have it.  After an exhaustive 2-day search, the Maloof brothers settled on a new arena  name that pays tribute to the shiny six-pack abs of the ape-like reality star.

Why, you ask?

Why not, I say.  This a brilliant stroke by the Maloofs.   A TV tie-in.   Appeal to the youth market.  Season-ticket bundles for Guidos.

It's a slam dunk.  And best of all, we don't have to worry about getting some awful-sounding company to plant their name on the building and make us feel awkward just saying the name.

"Hey dad, let's get going, I don't want to be late to Mucinex Arena."

"Meet you at  Orkin Pest Control Arena for a snack before the game"

And don't even think about local companies chipping in.   Bonney Plumbing Arena?  Wasn't gonna happen.

Now, The Situation, that's an arena name with panache.

"Let's hit The Situation tonight to watch some hoops."  "What a situation at The Situation last night"

And what about Grant Napear's new catch phrase:  "The Situation is off the hook.  Just watch out for grenades" (that one was for Jersey Shore fans only)

So there you go, Kings fans.

A new era for the team.

A new name for the arena.

And I hesitate to reveal my little secret about who's going to be singing the national anthem on opening night.

But here's a hyphenated hint from my extremely semi-informed sources: