Thursday, December 8, 2011
Petition to David Stern
Order of business: Revoking of past trade.
Remedy requested: Exile of John Salmons to beyond city limits.
As representative for the organization, Kings Fans With A Grudge, we petition the National Basketball Association to rescind the following trade:
Beno Udrih and the No. 7 pick to Milwaukee for John Salmons and the No. 10 pick, which turned out to be Jimmer Fredette.
This trade undermines the very fabric of fan enthusiasm in Sacramento. The acquisition of the dour, me-first, pass-last, ball-stopping Salmons was easily one of the stupidest moves in recent Kings history.
It is for this reason, we ask you, Oh Mighty Commissioner, to revoke this trade with all your powers.
You have shown an extremely large set of balls over the past 24 hours and we believe these huge sexual organs will make it easy for you to send Mr. Salmons back to the Bucks. And please send back Beno.
By the way, we'll keep Jimmer.
Thank you in advance.