Joe Maloof announced on Twitter a new family venture coming soon. We at Kings Talking Points are thrilled. It has to be something big. Very big.
As a benefit for the fans, we are happy to supply our well-researched list of highly probable projections for the big venture and the odds for each:
Sexy new uniforms are unveiled for the team. Players will only wear shorts, thus cutting down on laundering and clothing costs. "Hassan Whiteside is gonna really attract the ladies when they see his abs," boasts Gavin. 125-1
In an effort to grow their business, the Maloofs will now sell their own brand of lemonade. "Bitter Fans Lemonade" will offer down-home taste and feature a different alienated Kings fan on every bottle. 40-1.
The Maloofs will bring their skateboarding business to a whole new level by announcing the formation of the PSL - The Professional Skateboarding League. Unfortunately, Sacramento won't get a franchise until the city ponies up the dough for a Skateboard Pavillon in Old Sac. 20-1
A reality show featuring Joe, Gavin and George on a treasure hunt in Anaheim is announced for this fall. The three wacky brothers must meet in secret with businessmen who may or may not be franchise-stealing whores. It's up to the brothers to find who's the legit whore and get the money before the next NBA Board of Governors meeting. 2-1