Monday, December 31, 2012

Zombie Petrie and the Kings Apocalypse

And now the bloody truth has begun to leak out.

Geoff Petrie is a card-carrying member of the walking dead.

He may not eat flesh and he doesn't have the pallor of a corpse,  but there's no doubt he's dead. 

And yes, he is still breathing and wearing sport coats and leaning silently in the his little spot under the basket.  But make no mistake, as a man of relevance in the NBA, the Kings' basketball president is nothing but a Zombie.  

It is yet another sign that the Kings Apocalypse is upon us.  Forget those silly Mayans and their ill-fated scare tactics.  We've got full-on, end-of-the-world scenario playing out in the bowels of whatever they call that half-ass arena in Natomas.

DeMarcus Cousins has become such a sack-slapping, brooding, half-hearted suspended pile of disappointment that trade rumors are wafting furiously in the air.  But Zombie Petrie remains on the sidelines, awaiting word on his undead future.

The Maloofs, who are flirting with so many cities they have decided to post a sexy profile of the Kings on, have rendered Zombie Petrie helpless.  He barely speaks to anyone.  He barely moves.  

Zombie Petrie chooses to remain passive as his reputation (or what's left of it) gets ground into piles of charred bones.

Unfortunately, nobody expects anything to change.

If Zombie Petrie had a shred of dignity left in his lifeless body, he would resign.  Or he would defy his bosses and say something that was actually meaningful.

It's a sad and frightening time -- and a  time for Zombie Petrie to regain his human faculties.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Disgusted Kings fans, Twitter, and Carmichael Dave

It all came to a head Saturday night.

And if you were following the Twitter comments of Kings fans, it seemed like an eruption of frustration.

While the team was laying a King-sized turd in Clipperland, a good deal of the Sacramento fan base had decided they'd seen enough.

In a Tweet Tsumani of disgusted barbs, fans bombarded listless players, absent ownership and a distinctly rudderless ship.

All of this against the backdrop of a franchise prepared to pack up and leave town as soon as another city could toss enough community cash at the Maloofs.

Carmichael Dave, the former KHTK broadcaster turned internet radio host, refuses to give up on efforts to keep the Kings.  He even hatched a new scheme:  tweeting about a sit-in at the arena, perhaps even a human chain circling the entire building.

His suggestion was met with enthusiasm on the Twittersphere with people pledging to join him.

I suggested a nude element but quickly thought better of the idea.

Then I figured we could hire that UC Davis cop to pepper spray Dave in an effort to draw attention to the cause.

That's what life has become for fans of this fallen franchise.  Grasping at straws.  Hoping that howling into the cold, wet night will evoke a response from someone, anyone.

But the sad truth is that nobody is listening.

It's just darkness out there.

Darkness and silence.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Time for Joe and Gavin Maloof to take a stand and save the Kings

Okay, it's time for the older brothers to make a stand.

Where are you, Joe and Gavin?  Kings nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

Why have you disappeared?

And why are you letting your weasel younger brother seemingly hijack the operation of the team?

Joe and Gavin Maloof used to be the faces of the franchise.  Young, energetic owners with a passion for basketball.  They  rooted with unrestrained gusto at courtside during the glory years.  They answered the phone when fans called.  They lived and breathed customer service.

But now they are invisible.  Why?

Are they not considered competent enough to run the franchise?  

Why has George, who presided over the business swoon of the Palms Casino, become the man in charge of the Kings?  Was it always this way and we just didn't know?

You have to wonder what Joe and Gavin are thinking, but they hardly speak anymore.  Do they want the team to remain in Sacramento?  Sure seemed like it when they did their premature dance at midcourt with Kevin Johnson before the ill-fated Sacramento arena deal exploded in a gory mess.

It's not too late for the boys to make a stand.  

It's not too late to turn this slow-motion community tragedy into a momentous victory for a city that has given its life blood to a franchise for 25 years.

It's not too late to regain your reputation.

Tell George to step aside.

Go back to Mayor Johnson and make a deal.

This is your team.

Act like it.

Make it happen.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

The Kings don't care anymore. Why should we?

Wow, that was fast.

A season down the drain in less than 10 games.

Even for the Kings, that's pretty damn impressive. What happens now is all about the ugly.

Attendance at Sleep Train Arena will continue to plummet.  Fan interest, already at an all-time low, will continue to wane.  And the players - that collection of ill-fitting, selfish, immature youngsters - will begin to implode.

But nothing will happen.

This might easily become the greatest train wreck in sports history.

Fire Keith Smart?  Doubtful.  The team has no money to hire a real coach and they just gave the guy an extension.

Make a huge trade?  Laughable.  That would entail Geoff Petrie actually rising from a decade-long nap.  And owners who are engaged.  Hint: They ain't.

The Kings have become a debacle of the highest order.

Professional sports should bring pride and passion and buzz to a city.  They should not make you feel sad.

But that's what happening right now.

Deep in the bowels of the arena, the truth is known.  Nobody seems to care.  Not the players.  Not the team management.

And if they don't care, why should we?

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Can Petrie be charged with sports franchise malpractice?

Can team officials be charged with sports franchise malpractice?

Because that's exactly what should happen to the Kings' Geoff Petrie.

What he's done to this franchise over the page few years is a downright embarrassment.  A team that a decade ago prided itself on passing, ball movement, and team play has become the NBA's poster child for selfishness. 

And you can lay the blame at the feet of Petrie.

For some some reason, he fell in love with gunners. 

Tyreke Evans.   Aaron Brooks.  Marcus Thornton.  DeMarcus Cousins.  Jimmer Fredette.

None of them has ever shown the slightest interest in sharing the ball, but Petrie thought it was a brilliant idea to collect them all and shove them in front of a coach with no clue how to tame them.

That coach - Keith Smart - is not going to turn things around.  He is overmatched as a strategist and motivator.  Yet Petrie decided to hand him a contract extension during the offseason.

Petrie has been living off a few clever moves from more than 12 years ago.  But he is no longer considered an upper-echelon front-office guy.

He still hasn't found a small forward for the team, despite years of nothing at that position.  His acquisition of John Salmons last year was one of the worst personnel moves in NBA history.  And don't get me started on Travis Outlaw.

 The point-guard position is still weak, despite my soft spot for Isaiah Thomas.  Nobody on the team is capable of running  a simple pick-and-roll and setting up a teammate.

Cousins is considered a bright spot, but if the first few games are any indication, he is still a ticking time bomb, supremely moody and seemingly incapable of playing the game without making surly faces at every perceived slight.   

It's sad.  It's pathetic.  And it's time to point the finger at the man who is most responsible for this disaster.

Mr. Petrie, come take a bow.

Monday, October 29, 2012

The passion is gone for this Kings fan

Normally, this time of year I'd have a touch of Kings fever. Perhaps a tingle of enthusiasm for the upcoming NBA season.

Here's a news flash: I've got nuthin.

I'm empty.

Maybe I've bled out.  Pierced by a bleak future, bludgeoned by years of ownership neglect.

You can delude yourself and think this team is loaded with young talent, but that's an ugly mirage.  The team is nothing but an oddly arranged group of mismatched talent with a uniform desire to chuck up shots, avoid defense and passing, and just casually go about the business of being NBA losers.

DeMarcus Cousins has plenty of talent and still sports the maturity of a 12 year old. Tyreke Evans has been woefully coached and has no clue about his role.  New rookie Thomas Robinson is not going to make an impact for a few years.  And Jimmer?  Well, there hasn't been a worse acquisition for a team since the New York Jets traded for Tim Tebow.

It's sad, really.  This city used to love its team without question.   Now we constantly question without love. The passion is gone. So are many of the fans. And the actual team is probably gone by year's end.

Maybe this team will surprise us.  Maybe they'll figure it out and shock the league.  But I ain't holding my breath.

Sure, I'll still tune in for awhile at least.  I'm curious.  But there aren't many players I'd want to invest in emotionally. Isaiah Thomas is about the only guy I truly like on the entire squad.

Here's hoping for one last season to give Sacramento a few thrills.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Maloofs pay for somebody to abuse them. We do it for free.

So I'm listening to The Howard Stern show the other day and insult comic Jeffrey Ross is explaining how he sometimes gets hired by rich folks to do private roasts.

He lets slip that he recently did one of these private roasts for the Maloof brothers in Las Vegas  That tidbit of news left me confused.

First off, how do the Maloofs, who can't afford to put a coat of paint on the walls at their crumbling arena, afford to pony up for a professional comedian to make fun of them for an hour?  That's gotta be a huge wad of dough.  Ross said that Gavin paid him the old fashioned way, reaching into the cashier's cage at the Palms Hotel for the payoff.

This is the way the Maloofs are spending their money?

Haven't they been roasted enough over the past year?  All they need to do is read my blog to feel bad about their shameful behavior.  No need to hire anyone.

There's only one thing left to conclude from all this: The Maloofs enjoy abuse.

Kings fans, let's all continue to make their dreams come true.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Joe Maloof announces huge new venture. We give you the early scoop!

Joe Maloof announced on Twitter a new family venture coming soon. We at Kings Talking Points are thrilled. It has to be something big. Very big.

As a benefit for the fans, we are happy to supply our well-researched list of highly probable projections for the big venture and the odds for each:

Sexy new uniforms are unveiled for the team. Players will only wear shorts, thus cutting down on laundering and clothing costs. "Hassan Whiteside is gonna really attract the ladies when they see his abs," boasts Gavin. 125-1

 In an effort to grow their business, the Maloofs will now sell their own brand of lemonade. "Bitter Fans Lemonade" will offer down-home taste and feature a different alienated Kings fan on every bottle. 40-1.

The Maloofs will bring their skateboarding business to a whole new level by announcing the formation of the PSL - The Professional Skateboarding League. Unfortunately, Sacramento won't get a franchise until the city ponies up the dough for a Skateboard Pavillon in Old Sac. 20-1

A reality show featuring Joe, Gavin and George on a treasure hunt in Anaheim is announced for this fall. The three wacky brothers must meet in secret with businessmen who may or may not be franchise-stealing whores. It's up to the brothers to find who's the legit whore and get the money before the next NBA Board of Governors meeting. 2-1

Sunday, July 1, 2012

The dead-broke Maloofs should try honesty with fans

Look, wouldn't it be a whole lot easier if the Maloofs just came out and admitted they were dead broke?

I mean, why the charade?  Why let the fans even entertain the thought that the team would try to compete in the free-agent market?

The wacky brothers have claimed for years that their finances were just fine, but that silly boast is not even up for debate anymore.

What's the best thing that George Maloof could do right now?  How about an honest statement.

It could go something like this:

"Because of the economy and a number of completely boneheaded moves by my family, the Kings will be running the team on an austerity budget for the near future.

"That means no big free agents, no trades that take on any salary, and no chance we enter into any arena deal that forces us to put in one red cent.

"We'd like to apologize to the fans for thinking we were legitimate deep-pocketed owners who cared about anything more than keeping our irrationally entitled family afloat.  

"So chill out, stop complaining, and stop scrolling the sports wires for news about the Kings.  Ain't gonna happen, suckers."

All the best,

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Pathetic Maloofs sell draft pick in team's most ignoble moment

The day was going just about perfectly.

The Kings and Geoff Petrie had lucked into the selection of talented power forward Thomas Robinson with the 5th pick.

In my opinion, he was the best possible player in the draft for the Kings.  A guy who could help this season.  Tough. Aggressive.  Great motor.

It couldn't get any better, could it?


It didn't.  It got strange.

By the time the second round came rolling around, the state of the current ownership came clearly into focus.

The Maloofs are bankrupt.  Broke.  Penniless.

How else to explain why you would simply sell your second-round pick for cash?

This is not something a bottom-dwelling professional franchise does.  This is a team that desperately needs talent.  Tossing away a chance at another player is stupid.  Very stupid.

But these are the Maloofs.  And, well, there's really no other explanation needed, is there?

Please don't tell us your finances are fine and then pull a stunt like this.  If you can't afford to own a team, that's no sin.  But don't take down a franchise to salvage your pride.

Guess the boys needed a little walking-around money.

Or maybe they needed to invest in another doomsday economist.

Just pathetic.

Truly pathetic.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Revealed: Secret Maloof daily schedule

You've probably been wondering what the Maloofs, the owners of the Sacramento Kings, have been doing lately.

You see, everyone seems to think the Kings have become irrelevant.  But just because you never hear a whisper about a possible move as the draft approaches, that's no reason to believe that nothing is being done.

And even if every potential draft choice has decided take a wide berth around Sacramento and refuse to work out for the team, that's no reason to think the Maloofs aren't digging deep to make things happen.

Here at Kings Talking Points, we've got proof the brothers are working damn hard.  We've obtained an alleged daily schedule for the Maloof brothers.  Take a look.  It may change your mind.

8 a.m.: Morning Bikram Yoga.  Clothing optional.  Joe and Gavin attending.  Bring extra towels - Gavin tends to sweat a little too much for the room.

9:30 a.m.: Home renovation class at Home Depot.  This week's topic: How to fix those pesky luxury boxes with a little paint and spackle.  George attending.  Joe and Gavin waiting in truck.

11 a.m.:  Man the phones for onslaught of season ticket renewal calls.  George, Gavin and Joe.  Gavin requests that this time there be no jokes about playing Simon and Garfunkel's "Sounds of Silence" as background music.

11:16 a.m.: Use season-ticket phone to order pizza for lunch.  Gluten-free crust, please.

11:20 a.m.: Prepare for conference call with NBA and David Stern by gathering little-known but damning facts about Sacramento's awful economy.  Gavin attending.

11:46 a.m.:  Conference call with David Stern and NBA.  Team attorneys will be present on call to gently allude to anti-trust violations, but George demands that everyone treat "that little power-mad runt" with respect.

12:30 p.m.:  Lunch.  Casual dress.  Courtside during auditions for Kings dance team.  George requests that Gavin and Joe refrain from getting up from their seats and giving any individual dancer a standing ovation.  Please wear loose-fitting pants.

2 p.m.:  Maloof family nap.  Spooning optional.  George, Gavin and Joe attending.  Possible appearance by sister Adrienne.

4 p.m.:  Meeting with team vice president Geoff Petrie to discuss potential free-agent signings.  George notes that their checking account at Wells Fargo is currently overdrawn so any offers made to prospective players will need to be done with fingers crossed behind back.

5:30 p.m.:  Research session on possible draft picks.  Special guest speaker:  Some guy who attended a North Carolina game a few months back and remembers seeing a good player, although he doesn't remember the kid's name.  Gavin and Joe attending.

6:30 p.m.: Prep for confidential, top-secret meeting with Mr. Big.  Identity to remain secret.  Gavin sent to airport to pick him up after his flight from Seattle arrives.

8:30 p.m.: Top-secret meeting.  No further details.

10:30 p.m.:  Bedtime.  Gavin tucks in Joe tonight.  George gets the couch.

Friday, April 27, 2012

George Maloof, American Hero

Kings owner George Maloof was on Grant Napear's radio show on KHTK Friday afternoon to deliver a firm defense of his team's position.

Here are the highlights:

George Maloof is an American hero.

He thinks about his community first.

He believes that we should hire cops and firefighters and put that pesky arena thingy on the back burner.

He is says he's perfectly fine with a nice paint job on the old arena.

He says the team stands ready and able to spend money on players.

He doesn't understand why people consider him a villain.

It was such an impossibly lame, self-serving example of double-speak that you could barely believe he was able to get through the interview without uttering an evil giggle.  Through it all,  Mr. Napear barely managed to challenge a single assertion.

Like why the Kings allowed the NBA to negotiate for them over the past year without an inkling of what was being negotiated.

Like why Gavin and Joe have been effectively silenced after years of being the faces of the franchise.

Like why, if the Kings want to stay in Sacramento, they won't sign some kind of agreement to stay in the city for at least the next three years.

Like why any Kings fan should believe the Maloof family has the financial ability to compete in the world of professional sports.

Like pushing George to offer one example of how the Kings have spent any money in the past five years to spruce up the current arena.

Like why we should think that the Maloofs have any business acumen at all after the deterioration of both the Palms Casino and the Kings over the past 10 years.

Like why a team that was so committed to staying in Sacramento had all but packed the moving vans last year to head for Anaheim.

Then again, I suppose there is no need to question George Maloof about any of those things.

After all, he is an American hero.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Maloofs, the Kings and The Palms: A history of deterioration

Does anybody believe the current state of the Kings and Power Balance Arena is not the fault of the Maloofs?

Hey, maybe it's the economy or maybe the team just needs a new arena.  Maybe this deterioration is just bad luck, right?

Uh, no.

All you have to do is look to the desert of Nevada to see that this pattern is not unique.

The Palms Hotel, once the hottest of the hot spots in Vegas, has fallen into disrepair.  I decided to check customer reviews of the hotel on the popular TripAdvisor site.

Now, to be fair, there were some decent reviews, but the bad reviews were startling in their harshness.

Check them out for yourself:

Palms Reviews

Here's a sampling:

"The room reeked of deodorizers attempting to cover up bad odors in the room. The beds looked lumpy and the walls were dirty."

"This place was disgusting and horrible. It's amazing how fast and how far this place has fallen."

"Overall, worst hotel experience I've had in Vegas. Used to be a great place ten years ago, now it's on par with Circus Circus."

"This is by far the worst choice you could make to stay in Vegas, You would be better off to save the money and sleep on the streets and play an instrument to make extra money."

First the Kings and now The Palms.

What do these two business entities have in common?

Connect the dots, Kings fans.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Grant Napear officially declares he's a shill for Maloofs

Thank you Grant Napear.

Yup, in a none-too-shocking admission, KHTK's resident sports blowhard finally admitted it on Monday.

He's a shill for the Maloofs.

A mouthpiece.  A plant.  An accomplice. The Panderer-in-Chief.

Now he didn't have to use those exact words, but it was clear when he proudly proclaimed on his radio show that there's no reason for him to badmouth the Maloofs since the Maloofs have been very good for Grant Napear (yes, he used the dreaded third person).

This is all fine and dandy, except Mr. Napear has always slyly implied that he's an even-handed player in the entire arena debacle.

Look, I wouldn't blast my boss if he was writing my checks either, but I would make it clear almost every time the subject came up by stating these simple words:

I am not a fair arbiter in this situation since I am employed by the owners of the Kings, but I would be happy to give you my opinion.

That almost never happened.

Instead, for years, he has berated caller after caller who dared to hold the Maloofs in a less-than-flattering light.

He must have a bulging hernia for all the water he's carried.

And now, when everyone in the sports world can see that the Maloof behavior has risen to the level of Weasel Defcon I, there is no way he should be even attempting to maneuver his flighty bosses into a more favorable position.

The NBA thinks the Maloofs have lost their minds.

The city of Sacramento thinks they're dishonest liars.

The Sacramento fans have had it with the years of insufferable negotiation stances.

But Grant "The Shill" Napear believes we should all just back off, play nice, and give all the sides the benefit of the doubt.

This is so transparently the message of P.R. outfit hired by the Kings that is is truly laughable.

Yes, the Maloofs have finally shown their true colors.

And finally, so has Grant Napear.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Maloofs must sign 10-year lease to stay in Sacramento to salvage relationship with fans

There is a way.

A single way for the Maloofs to turn public opinion back in their favor.

A single way for the Maloofs to help the Sacramento fans forgive them.

And here it is:

In front of the Kings fans, hold up a signed lease agreement saying that you are staying in Sacramento for the next 10 years.

That's it.

Done deal.

The town is yours again.

Will it happen?  Almost certainly no.

But Joe Maloof proclaimed loudly to the Bee's Aileen Voisin that the team has no intention to move.

Okay, prove it.

Tell the city that the Anaheim is dead with a pen, not with words.

And get to work sprucing up Power Balance.  I suggest a $5 ticket surcharge to pay for it.  That would at least pay for cosmetic changes to the building.  It won't widen the concourses or add luxury boxes, but it would go a long way towards showing some good will.

Here's the problem: I don't think Joe and Gavin Maloof are even running the show anymore.  I think they've been pushed aside by George, who fancies himself the brilliant wheeler-dealer of the family.

Well, Joe and Gavin, it's time to kick your unkempt Vegas brother to the curb.

Make a grand statement.

Make it now.

Before it's too late.

Friday, April 13, 2012


It's time to make another statement, Kings fans.

You did it last year when you wanted the team to stay.

Now it's time to do it again.  Except this time it's about being jobbed.  It's about being taken for a ride.  It's about a trio of clueless brothers named Maloof.

Friday's despicable display by the Maloofs was inexcusable and perhaps one of the most embarrassing presentations in the history of sports ownership.

Parading a dull economist in front of the press to basically tear the city's arena plan to shreds was a pure affront to any Kings' fan who was brave enough to watch.

George Maloof acted like a child who had no idea why things hadn't gone his way in the sandbox.  He was gonna pout and whine and claim that little Kevie hit him in the face with a shovel.

These guys are morally and financially broke.

They have no money because they have no business acumen. In fact, they have no businesses.   They have no way to make money any more.  Owning an NBA team is not a profitable business.  It's a hobby for rich men.  The Maloofs don't qualify.

So what can the fans do?


Empty the arena.  Don't set foot in the place for the final four games.

Make it a ghost town.

The sports world doesn't care one iota about Sacramento, but it's time to hold up the owners to the ridicule they deserve.

Stay home.

Empty the arena.

Let the team play in silence.

When the highlights appear on ESPN,  the sound of shame will be deafening to the Maloofs.

Friday, March 30, 2012

Maloofs balk at paying for toilet paper in new arena

Thanks to a close confidant who slipped me an unmarked envelope outside of the Arby's in Vacaville last night, I can reveal the alleged contents of a secret memo sent by George Maloofs to his brothers Joe and Gavin.

This explosive memo outlines the team's financial concerns over the new arena deal. Here are the alleged highlights:

--Why on earth should we foot the bill for toilet paper in the new building's bathrooms? This is just silly. That's expensive, especially considering all the gastro-intestinal problems our fans suffer because of our Kings dogs. Ask KJ to spring for the TP.

--There is no way we are paying for somebody to design the stinking arena. How hard can it be? I'll get one of my cocktail waitresses from the Palms to do it. I know this one girl who almost has her graphic arts degree from this really great community college near Pahrump. She'll do it as a favor to me.

--Should we really be paying any rent at all? Anaheim says they'll let us play there for chicken feed. They love us. If we keep raising a stink, I'm sure we can make this pesky deal go away. And I can handle Stern, believe me. He might be short and muscular, but I'm frizzy haired and half nuts.

--Looks like that cocky mayor wants us to provide ushers, security and safety lighting during games. He's gone too far. This is just outrageous. We never agreed to any of this. One more demand and we are done. Period. I mean it. No, really. We are Maloofs, not suckers. You can't expect us to pay for everything.

--Just got a note from the league. They want us to pay the salaries of Travis Outlaw, John Salmons, Francisco Garcia and Chuck Hayes. Hell no. That's Petrie's mess. Send him the damn bill.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Kings desperately need to make a trade. Right now.

There are no more excuses.

Short preseason due to lockout?  Nope.

New coach trying to get his feel for the team?  Nope.

Young players who came in out of shape?  Nope.

Just plain crappy talent?  Well, yes.

The inexcusable performance by the hometown Kings against the visiting Warriors on Tuesday night was so downright ugly, so sadly unwatchable, so depressing to the fans, there is only one thing the team can do.

Make a trade. A big trade.  And make it fast.  Because Kings fans don't deserve a team and management so hesitant and reluctant to pull the trigger on anything remotely resembling an impact move.

So Mr. Petrie, what are you going to do today as trade deadline approaches?

Ignore the phone?  Wait for free agency again when no worthwhile talent would even sniff Sacramento?

It's your move, Geoff.

Time to regain your reputation.  Time to breathe new life into the franchise.

No more excuses.


Monday, February 27, 2012

Maloofs come up with the cash... and, poof, an arena deal is born

Okay, I admit it.  Never figured the Maloofs would agree to stay in Sacramento and dole out the heavy cash.

I still don't quite know where they intend to get the money or how they intend to compete as NBA owners but, hey, it looks like Sacramento is going to get an arena.

And that's all that matters.  An arena means hundreds of construction jobs and a downtown that actually matters after dark.

Still, I wasn't sure how this was going to all turn out.  After all, I was lucky enough to get a spy photo of Gavin Maloof during the negotiations... he sures knows how to bluff...

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Arena deal just doesn't pencil out with Maloofs as owners

Do the Maloofs have any money left?

That's the $387 million question as the all-important arena vote looms.

With the team struggling to fill the arena, their Power Balance naming rights deal in tatters, their casino interests drained almost to zero, and no other seeming revenue streams, how do these guys come up with any cash?

It's almost comical to think they will be able to pony up with anything close to the $85 million that Sacramento is demanding to build the arena.

And would the NBA lend them the money when Anaheim is willing and able to welcome them without a penny out of pocket?

This is looking bleak.  And sadly, it's not going to be on the City of Sacramento this time.  Because unless the Brothers Maloof finally relent and sell the team, I can't see how this deal works.

Does commissioner David Stern have the juice to force a sale? Doubtful.  Especially after the lockout fiasco that proved small-market teams have begun to erode his once enormous power.

Let's look at some harsh numbers:

--In 2009-10, a total of 23 of the NBA's team worked at an operating loss.  Eleven teams had net losses of more than $20 million.  With the economy in the tank and Sacramento hurting, you can bet the Kings are one of the league's least profitable teams.

--The Kings already owe the city the balance of a $70 million loan.  Combine that with a $60 million loan from the NBA and Maloofs would be sitting on $130 million in debt with no positive cash flow.

--The Kings would be simply tenants in the new building, meaning they would get no cash flow from parking or other events beyond basketball.

Now, nobody has yet explained why the Kings need to come up with this huge block of cash upfront.  It doesn't really make sense.  Yearly leasing fees would be much easier for the team to handle.

But that's the game of chicken being played right now.

From this vantage point, only new owners with very deep pockets make this deal in Sacramento work.

I could be wrong.  I hope I am.

But the Kings could not be in worse shape.  On the court, the team is a mismatched assemblage of ill-fitting parts.  Off the court, the owners have become financial zombies, former millionaires who just stumble through life with the desperate aura of lost wealth.

I just can't see how the Kings remain in Sacramento with the Maloofs as owners.

Zombie Arena is just not going to cut it.


Saturday, February 11, 2012

The Secret Transcript of personal call between C-Webb and Grant Napear

By now, you've probably heard about the infamous encounter between Chris Webber and Grant Napear on Grant's radio show on Friday.  If you didn't, here's a quick recap: 

C-Webb babbled on for three minutes about how he has made it his one-man mission to save the Kings and was offended that someone would question his motives, all the while never answering Napear's question about an obvious misstatement made during TNT's Thursday night' broadcast against the Thunder.  He then hung up.

Easily the most entertaining moment in the history of Grant Napear simply because:

A.)  Grant barely spoke.
B.)  Webber showed himself to be a total ass.

But did anyone know that Napear allegedly made a personal call to Webber off the air just minutes after his show ended.

Thanks to an inside source at the radio station, we have the alleged transcript of that call.

Grant: Yo, Chris...

Webber:  Who's this?

Grant: It's me.  Grant.

Webber: Shit.

Grant: Don't hang up.

Webber: I game you the damn interview.  What else do you want?

Grant: I just wanted--

Webber: To apologize?

Grant: No.

Webber: I'm C-Webb, you know.

Grant: I know.

Webber:  Don't freakin' question me.  Tell me your sorry.

Grant: But I just wanted--

Webber: I love Sacramento.  I once for a couple of minutes thought about living there after I finished playing.  Thanks to me, people know where your damn-ass city even is.

Grant: Well that's not exactly true.

Webber:  Damn straight it is.  Why are you calling me?  I have to go to a wardrobe check. 

Grant:  Look, I guess I might be a little sorry you felt--

Webber:  That's right. Start sucking up, Grant.  Like when you talk to Gavin and Joe.  Never heard you ask them a tough question.

Grant:  That's insulting.

Webber: Oh yeah, I forgot, you do berate your dumb-ass callers.  Getting all New Yawk on them.  Why does anybody listen to you?

Grant:  I happen to be the top-rated radio sports host in Sacramento.

Webber: You're the only radio sports host in Sacramento.

(long pause)

Grant: I like you Chris.

Webber: Call me Mr. Webber.

Grant: What?

Webber:  You got wax in your ears?

Grant:  This isn't fair.  I was only asking you a simple question and then you--

Webber: You tell those broke-ass owners they should be bowing down and thanking me.

Grant: Thanking you? 

Webber: When I talk, people listen. I'm C-Webb.  C-Webb carries a lot of juice.  C-Webb rules the roost.

Grant: Why are you talking about yourself in the third person?

Webber:  What third person, ass?  It's just me and you.  It's just C-Webb and you.  No third person. 

(long pause)

Grant: I'm done.

Webber:  Don't be angry, Grant.

Grant: This is unbelievable.

Webber: Tell the people of Sacramento I love them.

Grant: Go to hell.

(dial tone)

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Five Downright Undeniable Truths About the Kings right now

Five things I know for sure right now about the Sacramento Kings:

1.  The Kings will never get to the playoffs with Tyreke Evans as their point guard.  Sorry, folks, just don't see it happening.  He's a fullback masquerading as a basketball player imitating a point guard.  And he has spurts of being spectacular, especially when his feet aren't aching.  But I just don't see him as the guy who's taking the team to the next level - not if he's the man running the offense.  I still think he's a great trade chip in a mega-trade for a great point guard, but I doubt the franchise has the guts to pull the trigger on a deal.

2. Funding the new arena by privatizing city parking lots is a stupendously bad idea.  Paul Clegg's blog tells the ugly truth.  Not sure why a simple $5 dollar surcharge on every ticket was ignored as a solution, but this parking fiasco will come back to bite KJ in the butt.

3. Geoff Petrie is an awful general manager and has been living off a few good deals and signings made a decade ago.  Sad but true.  Some awful decisions of late (trading for Salmons and signing Outlaw to name a couple) put him in the bottom rung of NBA brains.  He's become a non-entity around the league.  

4. DeMarcus Cousins is going to be a star and I've been impressed with his tenacity and hustle, but he's going to have spend a solid summer working on footwork and jump hooks in order to overcome his lack of jumping ability.  Cousins is consistently stuffed when trying to work inside because he has no clue about how to maneuver against more athletic big men.

5. It's more fun to root for likable players.  Rookie Isaiah Thomas may never be an elite player or even a starter, but his smile, verve, aggressiveness and poise make him a fan favorite.  And he passes the ball, too.  Selfish players are not easy to like, unless they are stone-cold superstars.  The Kings have too many stone-cold selfish stiffs.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Grotesque, loathsome, repugnant and other words to describe the Kings

Kings fans, are you exhausted just trying to come up with the proper adjective to describe you favorite basketball team?

Well, fret no longer.  As a public service, we are providing a list of descriptive words that easily serve to represent your feelings for the current team.

Appallingawfulbad-looking, beastly,deformed, disfigured, foul
frightful, grisly,grossgrotesquehard-featured, hideous,homely,
 horridill-favored, loathsome,misshapen, monstrousplain,
repelling, repugnantrepulsiverevolting.

Much thanks to

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Kings fans deserve better than this sad, pathetic franchise

Take this team and shove it.

That should be the attitude of Kings fans across Sacramento.

And those sentiments should be directed toward the unholy trio of Gavin and Joe Maloof, and their mild-mannered butler Geoff Petrie.

There are no more excuses for this paltry and pathetic assemblage of talent.  High draft picks, salary cap room, and a reported "genius" in the front office have landed the team in the cellar again.

It's embarassing.  It's unacceptable.  And nobody is screaming about it.  Are the Maloofs raising holy hell?  Are they holding Petrie accountable for this disaster? Or do they care anymore? Maybe they're just counting the days until the moving trucks arrive.

The Kings are a boarded-up bank repo.  Once grand and now in awful disrepair.

It's a shame.  The franchise with the most loyal fanbase in the NBA has put together an incredibly unlikeable team.  Selfish, immature, seemingly incapable of arousing even a hint of teamwork.

The worst part?  There's probably nothing that can be done.  Petrie still thinks he's sitting on a gold mine of talent.  There seems to be no pressure to make any big moves.

And the Maloofs, the league's former golden boys, just sit silently by, staring at their empty wallets, becoming increasing irrelevant with each passing minute.

Friday, January 13, 2012

It's official: The John Salmons trade is the worst in NBA history

Geoff Petrie owes all Kings fans an apology.

A nice little note would be perfect.

Maybe some flowers.

But he needs to do something because we are forced to watch the immensely uninspiring play of Mr. John Salmons this season.

Why did the Kings trade for this guy?  Why?

I knew it was gonna be bad on draft day.

Let's go back read my words from that fateful day...

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Forget Jimmer. Isaiah Thomas is the team's new starting point guard

Ladies and gentleman, your new starting point guard for the Sacramento Kings...

Isaiah Thomas.

If the diminutive point guard can continue to play with even half the court vision, confidence and overall poise he showed against Toronto on Wednesday night, there is absolutely no reason he shouldn't be the team's starting point.

Right now.  And for the forseeable future.

The kid's got moxie.  Nobody on the team sees the floor like this kid.  Not Tyreke.  Not Marcus.  And not Jimmer.

He provided more easy baskets for DeMarcus Cousins than we've seen all season.  And Lord nows this team needs easy baskets.

So take a seat, Mr. Fredette, you're good for 5 or 10 minutes a game.  That's it.  Thomas is the rookie the watch.

He's small, but he plays big.

Let the Isaiah era begin.


Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Maloofs can't be this stupid. can they?

So how is it possible that the formerly rich Maloof brothers can't see the giant poop stain sitting in front of their courtside seats?

How is it possible that every Kings fan wants to see coach Paul Westphal shoved out the door yet the Brothers Grim are blind?

How is it possible that the team owners who promised to move heaven and earth and spend like crazy in an attempt to improve the team are still near the league minimum in team salary?

How is it possible that those wacky brothers have not told Geoff Petrie to use his supposed creative genius to craft a deal for a veteran star talent?

How is it possible that Gavin and Joe can't see that the current squad is so unlikable and plays such a selfish, uninspiring brand of basketball that the arena will be empty in a matter in months?

How do these Two Blundering Blokes not see that Tyreke Evans and DeMarcus Cousins have been mismanaged so badly that the team's coaches should be charged with basketball malpractice?

Well, here's the answer...

They know all those things.  Every one of them.

But they are not going to do a thing.

Not for at least two more months.

I hope I'm wrong, but their only strategy seems to be the stall.  And the stall is meant to kill enthusiasm.  And to kill fan interest.  And to show David Stern that they were right last year...

That the team belongs in Anaheim... where a pot of gold awaits.

Even if the city comes up with a viable arena deal, the Maloofs can argue the terms, balk at the rental fees, and crumble it.

Some argue it's out of the Maloofs' hands.  That it will be Stern's call.  I don't buy it.

Prove me wrong, Maloofs.  I'd be more than happy to admit it.

Make a move.  Make two moves.  Show some guts.  Spend some money.  Make a league-shattering deal.  Bring in a top coach.

C'mon, Maloofs, I dare you.

Because it ain't gonna happen.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Revealed: The secret first draft of Westphal's statement on DeMarcus Cousins

You've probably seen the statement on DeMarcus Cousins from Paul Westphal on Sunday night.

This is how it read:

“Whenever a new season begins, in any sport, there is great hope that everything will progress in only a steady, upward direction. As we all know, it seldom happens like that in this life!
As coaches, we can only ask that our players do everything they can to improve themselves as individuals and teammates. If they do this with all their hearts, we live with the results.
Everything that happens on a team does not become known to the public. This is how it should be. However, when a player continually, aggressively, lets it be known that he is unwilling/unable to embrace traveling in the same direction as his team, it cannot be ignored indefinitely.
DeMarcus Cousins has demanded to be traded. In the best interest of our team as we go forward, he has been directed by me, with the support of management, to stay home from the New Orleans game tonight.”

What you probably didn't see was the first draft of the statement.  Kings Talking Points was privately slipped the alleged First Draft by a member of the Kings organization on Monday.  For reasons unknown, this draft was not allowed to go public.  Here it is.  You read it and decide.

“In the course of human history, we sometimes cross paths with a fellow so heinous, so destructive, so downright gangsta, we must give pause to ponder not only the fate of the Sacramento Kings, but the fate of the world.  When a player refuses to run my spectacular offense and grimaces when I ask him if he ever saw "The Shawshank Redemption,"  I know there is a problem.  

"Mr. Cousins has shown an unwillingness to address me with respect.  In fact, he has repeatedly called me names such as 'dumb-ass' and 'Mr. West-Fail."  This, of course, in unacceptable.
"DeMarcus Cousins demands not only a trade, but he also demands that I politely embrace him and pat him gently when he is removed from the game.  He also wants me to hold his water bottle during timeouts.  The water bottle thing is a joke, I believe, although I have no problem patting him. 

"As coach of the Sacramento Kings for at least the next week (maybe longer if I can convince the brilliant management team that this whole crapfest is not my fault), I need to lay down the law.  I call it Paul's Law and it is based on Talmudic readings.  Everyone shall follow it.  It is written.

"It is in the best interest of my personal career the Sacramento Kings that we ask DeMarcus to stay as far away from the arena as humanly possible.  I have asked him to stay in Yuba City at the Best Western (breakfast is free).

All the best,

With much love,

Paul Westphal
Sacramento Kings coach

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Cousins wants a trade? Trade him. Trade everyone.

If DeMarcus Cousins wants a trade, I say trade him.

And trade Tyreke Evans, too.

And fire Paul Westphal.

And Geoff Petrie.

Hell, that usher in Section 116 needs to go, too.

Can the Maloofs fire themselves?

All hell has broken loose in Kings Land and we're not even a week in.  How much fun is this?

The Maloofs are getting exactly what they deserve.  An egomaniacal group of self-centered players and a coach who has no idea how to get them to behave.

This is the team they have assembled.  These are the type of players Petrie has been directed to acquire.  Style over substance.

Take Jimmer Fredette.  The guy has no business getting more than 10 minutes a game right now.  He does not now how to run an offense.  He can't play even a lick of defense.  And his ball-handling skills are mediocre at best.  But the Maloofs saw a quick way to make a buck by taking advantage of Jimmer mania.

Two years ago, they forcefed Tyreke Evans into thinking he was Kobe.  He was never coached.  Still hasn't been coached.  And the results are evident.

Last year, the team drafted DeMarcus Cousins and prayed he wouldn't detonate.  A year later, the bomb has gone off and the fallout is all over the franchise.

The Kings have become radioactive.   Call in the Haz-Mat Team.

It's a hopeless assemblage.  And it needs to be dismantled before more fans bleed from the team and the chances for an arena are eradicated completely.

Start from scratch right now.  There's nothing to lose.  The team can't go backwards.  They are stuck in reverse against a concrete wall.