Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Shocker: Kings post team for sale on ebay!

The Kings are for sale.  And it's finally public knowledge.

But just how public is this knowledge?

Very public.

You see, much to our surprise, the Kings owners have shockingly decided to list the team on  It makes sense.  What better place to get the money you so richly deserve?

It took us awhile, but we finally found the listing -- and it's mighty interesting.

First off, they've listed it for a Buy It Now price of $499 million.  That seemed like a genuine bargain until I scrolled down a bit and noticed that they also wanted $120 million for shipping and handling.

Too steep for my blood.  I'm a sucker for Free Shipping and this just seemed a little overpriced.

The seller -- some guy named MaloofusYou2013 located in Natomas -- posted a fairly compelling description of the sale item.

Here it is:

One-of-a-kind professional sports franchise in gently used condition.   Bid now for a chance to become part of an elite group of team owners.  Team is completely mobile.  Can move anywhere.  Or you can stay put and deal with the cowbell ringers and cocky mayor in this one-horse town.

Item comes complete with set of 12 life-sized professional basketball players.  Set includes one extra-large surly fellow with a lot of talent, one extra small former college sensation who has an interesting first name,  and one former rookie-of-the-year (could have some slight physical defects).  A number of players who seem to lack any ability at all are included to complete the set. 

The product comes with a full coaching staff, although we make no guarantees on their basketball knowledge or their ability to help your set of life-sized players in any way, shape or form.

As an option, we also offer a vice president who is slightly comatose, does not change expression, and was once was considered a genius (that probably no longer applies). 

Please, only bidders with legitimate credentials and big bank.  No wanna-be's, Jersey Shore types, or anyone with the last name Burkle.

All sales are final.  Unless we decide to change our minds at the last minute.

Good luck and good bidding!