Monday, December 31, 2012

Zombie Petrie and the Kings Apocalypse

And now the bloody truth has begun to leak out.

Geoff Petrie is a card-carrying member of the walking dead.

He may not eat flesh and he doesn't have the pallor of a corpse,  but there's no doubt he's dead. 

And yes, he is still breathing and wearing sport coats and leaning silently in the his little spot under the basket.  But make no mistake, as a man of relevance in the NBA, the Kings' basketball president is nothing but a Zombie.  

It is yet another sign that the Kings Apocalypse is upon us.  Forget those silly Mayans and their ill-fated scare tactics.  We've got full-on, end-of-the-world scenario playing out in the bowels of whatever they call that half-ass arena in Natomas.

DeMarcus Cousins has become such a sack-slapping, brooding, half-hearted suspended pile of disappointment that trade rumors are wafting furiously in the air.  But Zombie Petrie remains on the sidelines, awaiting word on his undead future.

The Maloofs, who are flirting with so many cities they have decided to post a sexy profile of the Kings on, have rendered Zombie Petrie helpless.  He barely speaks to anyone.  He barely moves.  

Zombie Petrie chooses to remain passive as his reputation (or what's left of it) gets ground into piles of charred bones.

Unfortunately, nobody expects anything to change.

If Zombie Petrie had a shred of dignity left in his lifeless body, he would resign.  Or he would defy his bosses and say something that was actually meaningful.

It's a sad and frightening time -- and a  time for Zombie Petrie to regain his human faculties.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Disgusted Kings fans, Twitter, and Carmichael Dave

It all came to a head Saturday night.

And if you were following the Twitter comments of Kings fans, it seemed like an eruption of frustration.

While the team was laying a King-sized turd in Clipperland, a good deal of the Sacramento fan base had decided they'd seen enough.

In a Tweet Tsumani of disgusted barbs, fans bombarded listless players, absent ownership and a distinctly rudderless ship.

All of this against the backdrop of a franchise prepared to pack up and leave town as soon as another city could toss enough community cash at the Maloofs.

Carmichael Dave, the former KHTK broadcaster turned internet radio host, refuses to give up on efforts to keep the Kings.  He even hatched a new scheme:  tweeting about a sit-in at the arena, perhaps even a human chain circling the entire building.

His suggestion was met with enthusiasm on the Twittersphere with people pledging to join him.

I suggested a nude element but quickly thought better of the idea.

Then I figured we could hire that UC Davis cop to pepper spray Dave in an effort to draw attention to the cause.

That's what life has become for fans of this fallen franchise.  Grasping at straws.  Hoping that howling into the cold, wet night will evoke a response from someone, anyone.

But the sad truth is that nobody is listening.

It's just darkness out there.

Darkness and silence.