The Untold, Kinda Real Story Behind the Name "HereWeBuy"

The HereWeBuy movement has begun in Sacramento, thanks to local Kings supporter Carmichael Dave, who hatched the idea and helped develop a website that has captured the attention of the city. (See www.herewebuy.org)

Thousands of fans have pledged to buy season tickets on the site in hopes it will only boost the city in the eyes of the NBA.

Yet the slogan, "HereWeBuy," was not the first choice of many involved in the project.  It was only chosen after careful consideration and many hours of deliberation.

So what were the other suggestions?

Well, thanks to some inside information, we share them with you:

#HereWeBurkle: Huge favorite early, but then tossed aside because it was considered too specific.  Also considered: #HereWeCarlsen, #HearWeJiffyLube and #HearWeMastrov.  Not considered: #HereWeWeinersnitchel

#HereWeNapear: This lost by a close vote, but was eliminated when Carmichael Dave was unable to secure the rights to use Grant's name from long-lost love Don Geronimo.

#HereWeRemainAThornInTheSideOfTheMaloofsUntilTheyTakeTheirBrokeAssButtsAndGetOutOfTown:  Almost made the final cut but was considered a tad long and, ultimately, too hard to fit on a t-shirt.

#HereWeLingerHopelessly: Slightly depressing idea offered by a group of apathetic fans who wanted to get involved but felt it was too much of a bother.  It was given the early heave-ho.

#HereWeSpayAndNeuter:  Suggestion was slipped in by a local SPCA booster and Kings season ticket holder.  He was quickly shown the door and asked to pick up after his unruly beagle.

#HereWeBlowedUpAnySeattleDealRealGood: Carmichael Dave, a long-time fan of SCTV, was rooting for this one but nobody knew what he was talking about, despite referencing the video below:

Revealed: The secret pages from Joe Maloof's diary over the past few weeks

Many Sacramento fans have wondered about the state of mind of Kings ownership over the past few weeks.  Well, wonder no more.

Thanks to an inside source. we were slipped a number of pages from the alleged personal diary of Joe Maloof.

The thoughts are quite revealing.  Read on:

April 13:  Arrive in New York.   Order champagne for pre-meeting celebration.  Asked my assistant to secure tickets to hottest show on Broadway: "Spiderman - Turn Off The Dark."   I love big shows.  Lots of cool special effects and flying.  Risky stuff, but what could go wrong?

April 14: Prepared Anaheim proposal for NBA Board of Governors with brother Gavin and my best bud Mayor Tommy of Anaheim.  I asked why we only had a sketchy one-page outline of the proposal.  Tommy just smirked and ordered more popcorn shrimp and imported beer from room service.   Sent text message to Dave Stern:  "Done deal, right?"  His response was interesting: "LMAO." Later that night, Tommy feel asleep on my leg.  I think he got drool on me.

April 15:  My advisors tell me that the meeting didn't go too well.  Mark Cuban supposedly flipped me the bird when I was checking my Blackberry.  I think it went great.  We are gonna be rolling in the dough when we head south.   Just in time, too.  Haven't made my car payment in three months.  Just heard about some movement in Sacramento called Here We're Built by some dude name Carmel Dave.  What a joke.  Nobody pays attention to crap like that.  By the way, who the hell is Ron Burkle?  Told my assistant to do a Google search.

Just got word.  Two-week delay before we're officially the Royals.  Oh well, not like I have anything better to do.  Maybe I'll take some online college courses in business.  

April 16: Saw Kevin Johnson strutting through the lobby.  Suddenly, the dude has confidence.  Never saw that before. By the way, I told him that Burkle is a prick.  And the team is not for sale.  My brother George told me to say that, even though I would sell in a heartbeat if we got a good offer.  I need some cash.  Yes, I could ask my sister Adrienne for a loan, but she just dropped a load on a brow lift and seems a little light on funds.

April 17:  Back in Vegas.  Home sweet home.  Gonna spend all day playing blackjack, wearing tight shirts, and glad-handing all the skateboarders at poolside.  Told my assistant to get me the real estate listings for Anaheim.   Looking for a nice foreclosure I can get cheap.  Very cheap.

April 18: My brother George whisked me away to his office to give me good news.  Seems the NBA got that carpet-bagging dude who stole the Sonics from Seattle to look into our relocation.  Woo-hoo.  Stern is a genius.

April 19:  Got wind of another idiotic movement.  Here We Purple Nurple?   Huh?  Sounds like a fraternity prank.  Sacramento fans are usually very creative, but I don't get this one.  Saw a video blog by that Carmel Dave guy.  Talk about charisma.  Was that his garage?

April 20:  Emergency meeting at the poolside bar.  Gavin is pale.  First thought:  He needs sunscreen.  George says it looks like we're going back to Sac.  I'm shocked.  Ask assistant to lend me his credit card so I can order a Turkey Club.  Always feel better with bacon.

A Kings team in flux poses intriguing questions

Perplexing, intriguing and downright delightful questions to ponder about the current state of the Kings franchise...

At this point, how in the world could the NBA pull the rug out from Sacramento?  The two-week extension has grown into an avalanche of enthusiasm.  Now, most Kings fans are assuming the NBA is going to give the city a one-year reprieve.  Commissioner David Stern would be roundly vilified if he yanked the team away at this point.  It would be heartless, pathetic and the worst public relations move of all time.

By the way, how the hell did this happen, anyway?  I was dead wrong when I pronounced the team gone.  Now it's like the world of professional sports has turned upside-down.  How does a small-market win in a scenario like this?  It just doesn't happen.  Does it?

Okay, let's say the Kings stay.  How much money do the Maloofs really have?  Are they truly broke?  If so, forget about free-agent signings or any trades to bring in high-salaried talent.  The Brothers have been pontificating for years about the need to wait for a new collective bargaining agreement before they open up the wallets.  What if they open their wallets and nothing comes out but dust?

Will we ever hear from Ron Burkle again?  The Billionaire's name shook the floor at the meeting of the NBA Board of Governors.  Is there any reason to believe that his name won't surface again?

If the Kings do get a one-year window to come up with an arena deal, how long would it take to actually build the building?  Can Arco, er, Power Balance, work for the Maloofs for another three or four years?

Finally, will Carmichael Dave use his new base of power to launch a career in politics?  Will his movie-star looks jettison him to new heights?

I want answers, damn it.  And I want them now.

Or a little later would be okay, too.

If it's not too much trouble.

Hail Mary attempts to keep the Kings and the sad honest truth

Hail Mary passes are fun.

Launched high in the air with a prayer, hoping for a deflection or two, a defender misjudging, a lunging grab, and then maybe, just maybe, a miracle.

There are a lot of Hail Marys being tossed in Sacramento of late, most notably "Here We Build," the brainchild of KHTK's Carmichael Dave.

It's basically an arena telethon. Make your pledge to finance a new arena and watch the tote board soar.

It would be easy to throw cold water on this attempt, but it's a chance for the common folk of Sacramento to feel a little bit in control of their fate. And that's important as Kings fans watch helplessly as their beloved team creeps out of town.

I say knock yourself out. Go for it. I will never criticize activism in the name of civic good.

But then there's this: the effort to collect signatures in Anaheim to put the city's bond measure on a public ballot.

It's an interesting strategy, but it's petty and silly. You wonder how people in Sacramento would feel if another city took to our streets to prevent us from luring a franchise back to town.

SPOILER ALERT: Don't read further if you don't want to learn an important secret.

The Kings are gone.

Adios.

Out of here.

The city blundered with silly strategies. The Maloofs tore down the team and destroyed enthusiasm. And now it's over.

Only the Lakers, by bringing to bear an outrageous relocation fee, could even have the slightest chance in hell of changing the outcome.

So now it's time to think future, not past.

I doubt the money's here to build an arena without the Kings, but I'd still love to see an amazing development in the railyards. I'd still like to see a new entertainment facility for concerts and shows.

The main focus of the city should be economic development. Rebuild the base. Grow prosperity. Bring in corporate entities that may someday be willing to partner in an arena project down the road.

It may take a decade or more to see pro sports here again. It may never happen. But there's a city to grow in Sacramento. A city that can be vibrant and alive. Already, in parts of downtown, new restaurants and clubs have begun to make such an impact. There's a whole lot more to do.

The Kings added flavor and passion and their loss hurts. But now it's time for a rebirth.